I am going to fill you guys into this conversation I had one day with a black coworker. She is 20 years old and has a little girl…who is about 2 years old. We happen to start talking about dating outside our race. I am a black woman and do not discriminate on what race approaches me and strikes my interests. On the other hand my coworker said she could NEVER date outside her race because of her daughter. She believes that if she has biracial children her daughter now would be jealous of them. I really laughed at this and could not understand how she found that logical! But she says she has experienced siblings abusing each other because one has “good” hair, different color eyes, or is light skin. I believe this all has to do with the upbringing and self esteem of the children. We debated for a while on this topic and came to no understanding. We even had a random white man chime in saying that he has four biracial children and not wish any difference. This helped my case in saying that sooner or later people will be ONE big mixture….no one will be just one race. My question for you is: how do you feel about dating outside your race? Do you agree with my coworker? Do you see the world soon as a giant melting pot?
Created by: Jasmine Shepherd @Minni_Faye
I dont know why we feel that we must date a certain race. I feel like people are letting there past (slavery etc...) effect how we look at our present/future. Okay, we know were African Americans but why should we be subjected to date only African Americans and if we date outside of are race we now fall into the "sell out" catogery...The world is exactly that a melting pot where we all interact. The whole race thing is getting old, we are all humans and all gone parrish one day.
ReplyDeleteDating outside of a race is more ACCEPTED, during this time; however it still is not common. People have a comfort zone that they prefer to stay in. White men will have sexual encounters with black women but wouldn’t dare bring a black girl home to mom, simply because it’s too much of an inconvenience. Actually DATING a black woman is something totally different. Their parents were not raised upon accepting that kind of relationship. However, our generation, as parents will be more accepting and nonchalant about the subject because I feel like our generation does not have such a selective preference. As a result, our children will not hesitate to bring home someone of a different race. And the trend will continue after, with their children and so on and so on. I would undoubtedly agree and say later we will all mix but not anytime soon and plus it’s a difficult subject to determine fully at this point but it is a good assumption. I would say black men and white women are more compliant to the matter. Or black men and Latinas. White men and black women haven’t reached that point yet though. Repeatedly, white men that are my friend’s state they just don’t find black women attractive enough to date, accept for a selective few. Asian women and white men are more common than Asian men and white women. Middle Eastern people are usually seen with each other, Mexicans with Mexicans and so on. So I think it will be awhile until people are completely mixing together. Society is just not at ease quite yet about the situation…more accepting yes, but inevitably society PREFERS to stay inside of their race, one main reason? Because of the physical features each race has to offer that the other race cannot provide. Nevertheless, there’s a handful that are brave enough to step outside of their boundaries and kudos to them.
ReplyDeleteI've dated outside my race before and the reason I dated her had nothing to do with race. She was someone that I enjoyed spending time with and saw thing going further. I'll admit that I have my preferences but I'm never nor have I ever been opposed to stepping outside of my race. Live knows no color. And everybody should realize that.
ReplyDeleteJ. Merrell
I agree with Jordan. Like with most things, you cannot generalize. Unto each his own. So most people will aim to date within their preference, whether its skin color, hair color, or personality traits. I cannot say that I don't see color, but I have no dating preference in regards to race. Also, I have a hard time dating men who aren't as open minded as I am, but again, that's just me, and I respect other opinions. What I do NOT respect are hasty generalizations such as, "I cant date a white woman because shes weak" or "I cant date a black woman because shes too difficult". Every human being in this world is unique, different, and special. It has nothing to do with color, race, or nationality. I feel blessed to have been raised by such open-minded and loving parents. I will probably nevr have a problem with interracial relationships, whether youre just sleeping together, or dating, or married. Whats race got to do with it?
ReplyDelete-Ria
PS good job Jasss :)
Maria, I in everyway agree with you. I was blessed to be raised by parents who were accepting and allowed me to venture and do my own thing. Personally, I am a black woman who loves black men. That is my preference. There is a relatability in black relationships that I have found to be remarkable. I am not opposed to dating outside your race, I just do not like the weak justifications of why people do it. Not every black woman is dramatic, loud and violent; not ever white woman is weak, easy and stupid; and not every latin woman is easy tempered. To answer Jasmine's question and definitely do not agree with her coworker. I'm sorry, but your daughter is going to grow up with low self-esteem anyways if all it takes is for a lighter skin girl with better hair to influence it. There is always going to be someone that looks better than you, there will always be someone who dresses nicer and so on. Self-esteem is just that, you influence your self-esteem and establish your own self-concept. The world as a melting pot? Um, maybe but I know we won't be around to see it.
ReplyDeleteBeing a person of mixed race, it really took me a while before I was comfortable dating outside of my outwardly perceived race. For a long time I struggled to try to identify with just one race, but ironically, once I completely accepted myself as an african american woman, and embraced my culture, I was comfortable dating others. I think it comes down to this: If you are not comfortable with yourself and your own racial identity, it will be hard to invite someone different to inhabit your battling mind with you.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, maybe you don't even HAVE TO identify with just one race. In society, it is easier to just have one common racial background, but for real for real, we are all mixed up with some crazy shit. So, it could just be a matter of you accepting whoever it is that you are instead of trying to fit into the little narrow racial boxes that this world has drawn.
That being said, I am currently dating outside my race for the first time... and its swell.
-Salm
This is a great topic! Something overlooked all the time.
ReplyDeleteI am a first Generation American, and this is something that always haunts me in a sense? lol My parents along with almost all my eritrean friends say.. "date who you want, but you have to marry an Eritrean". My parents fear that if I step outside of this Realm of Eritrea, I will lose all trace of my culture. Which I've seen to be true at times. My cousins that actually married other races as opposed to my cousins that have just had kids outside our ethnicity have lost touch. Its a lot of pressure. I know that is not the case 100% of the time, but it does happen. But and the end of the day its a win win situation, you may lose touch with your culture but you have found true love.
From the outside looking in, its more complicated than you think, especially as a first Generation American.
You may look at it as just love, love has no color, which i do believe.. but when you have your whole family here in America and back home riding you.... things change up.
I appreciate all of you guys posts. Great Responses!
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